Category Archives: Quotes

Heart Full Moments June 2018

Comfort for the Soul

A monthly feature of “Listening with Heart” blog, sharing wise words, meaningful things read or good things found, to help warm your heart.

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These are the most impactful quotes I have read or heard this month that give me pause, or uplift my heart. It’s been another challenging time this month, and I know we each need some comfort and encouragement to keep carrying on. I am happy to share these quotes – that speak to the unbearable beauty and inevitable pain of our world – with you. Take a moment to go through them and maybe highlight a few that speak to you. Enjoy…

  • “I do want to create art beyond rage. Rage is a place to begin, but not end. I’m not as wise as my work, but I know if I take the writing deep enough, something larger and greater than myself will flash forth and illuminate me, heal me. I do want to devour my demons—despair, grief, shame, fear—and use them to nourish my art. Otherwise they’ll devour me.” – Sandra Cisneros
  • “We’re all under the same sky and walk the same earth; we’re alive together during the same moment.” – Maxine Hong Kingston
  • “That’s what, to me, carries teams over the top,” Kerr told the sports website Bleacher Report soon after the Warriors defeated the Cavaliers. “A lot of teams have talent, and obviously we have great talent. But when that talent is committed to the greater good . . . that takes you over the top.” – Steve Kerr
  • “When researchers studied the gender composition of management teams of the top firms in Standard & Poor’s Composite 1500 list, they found that, on average, “female representation in top management leads to an increase of $42 million in firm value.”
  • “Prejudice hurts the health of both targets and (to a different degree) perpetrators. The targets of prejudice experience the well-documented “weathering effect” on their physical and mental health. On the other side, many studies suggest that people who discriminate are at much greater risk of cardiovascular disease. Fortunately, interracial interactions needn’t be stressful. In many of the same studies, low-prejudice people respond to interracial interactions in ways that are happy and healthy.”
  • “The most fortunate are those who have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy.” – Abraham Maslow
  • “The wound is the place where the light enters you” – Rumi
  • “Thanking is difficult. That’s why most people judge.” – Carl Jung
  • “Life is fragile and short and worth all the loving presence we can bring to it.” – Rebecca Kushins
  • ”Racism is a heart disease. How we think and respond is at the core of racial suffering and racial healing. If we cannot think clearly and respond wisely, we will continue to damage the world’s heart.“ – Ruth King
  • “Every choice made has both good and evil results. The best we can do is to intend the good.”
  • “I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.” – Louisa May Alcott
  • “If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. This is the most basic kind of peace work.” Thich Nhat Hanh
  • “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” — Desmond Tutu
  • “We find ourselves again upon a time where we will one day utter “how could we have let that happen?” We cannot afford to forget that there is a history of separating children from their parents: during slave auctions; during the forced assimilation of American Indians; and during the Holocaust. The reverberations of these barbaric stains on our history are still felt today and future generations of these original victims will inherit the intergenerational transmission of these traumas. To try and argue that this policy of ripping children from their parents at the border is somehow different from the systematic traumatization of children during the times of slavery, forced assimilation, and the Holocaust is to disregard history. To somehow convince ourselves that this systematic traumatization of children has no bearing on the lives of these children and no impact on the legacy of our country is to be living in an alternate universe. And to not care about the impact these policies have on these children is to succumb to the worst potential of humanity.
    We, the undersigned, implore you to recognize what is at stake when children are taken from their mothers and other attachment figures. As psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, psychoanalysts, psychotherapists, and counselors we have a responsibility to report any concern of child maltreatment. This policy of separation is an indefensible violation of children’s civil rights and we uphold our responsibility as mandated reporters to sound the alarm.” – Petition to Stop Border Separations of Children from Parents
  • “In its passivity and resignation, cynicism is a hardening, a calcification of the soul. Hope is a stretching of its ligaments, a limber reach for something greater.” – Maria Popova
  • “When my daughters were born, I made a pledge to them, and to myself, that I would do everything I could to give them some things I didn’t have. And I decided that if I could be one thing in life, it would be to be a good father.“ – Barack Obama
  • “I imagine that one of the reasons that people cling to their hate and prejudice so stubbornly is because they sense that once that hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with their own pain.“ – James Baldwin
  • “Now a time of change has come.
    We must listen deeply, bear witness, honor everyone, and choose our actions wisely and courageously.
    Do not worry if the Right Action is not yet clear to you.
    Wait in the unknowing with mindfulness and a clear heart.
    Soon the right time will come and you will know to stand up.
    I will meet you there.” – Jack Kornfield
  • “Our ideal should be to create something beautiful that did not exist before us.” – Zapotec saying
  • “I started to view caring for my mental health as a revolutionary act, a form of resistance to the forces of oppression that were threatening to extinguish me, a working-class black woman. I come from a legacy of people who fought simply to be and I view my effort to fight my depression as a battle for freedom.” – Sherri Williams, PhD
  • ”In each of us, there is a little voice that knows exactly which way to go.” – Alice Walker
  • “How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong, because someday in life, you will have been all of these.” – George Washington Carver

So that’s this month’s short list of Heart-Full Moments that has some meaning for me. I hope your month has been graced with compassion and reflection and that you might take a moment of pause to connect with what inspires and nourishes your soul.

If you or someone you care about is struggling to find moments of full heartedness, please contact me for a therapy appointment.

For more ideas on how to bring more calm and less worry into your life, click here for a free email course on Mindfulness.

Listening with Heart
Cindi Rivera, MFT
Marriage, Family Therapist
www.cindiriveratherapy.com
criveramft@gmail.com
(510) 482-4445

HEART-FULL MOMENTS – May 2018

Reflect on these wise quotes and inspiration…

A monthly feature of “Listening with Heart” blog, sharing wise words, meaningful things read or good things found, to help warm your heart.

IMG_8538These are the most impactful quotes I have read or heard this month that give me pause, or uplift my heart. I am happy to share them with you. Take a moment to go through them and maybe highlight a few that speak to you. Enjoy…

  • Inspiration of the month: Daniel D. Music. He plays electric violin accompanying several genres of music. Another therapist shared this with me as a suggestion for waiting room music.  I found it to be passionate, soulful and inspirational to listen to while working on a creative project. He’ll help you get your work done with heart and soul. I like his story and how he’s putting himself out there, and doing good in the world.  Check him out here.
  • “Ultimately, I decided that my role as a therapist is both to support the individual (who has said something racist) and to support a greater good. These are inseparable to me. Partly because racism and other kinds of oppression are also harmful to the oppressor. So by not pointing out problematic thinking on the part of my client in regards to their blind spots when it comes to race and privilege, I’m not supporting their healing and growth.“ – Lily Sloane
  • “Walls turned sideways are bridges.” – Angela Davis
  • “When you listen generously to people they can hear the truth in themselves, often for the first time.” – Rachel Naomi Remen
  • “Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms, you would never see the true beauty of their carvings.“ – Elizabeth Kubler Ross
  • “If we take the time, no matter how crazy and troubled we feel, we can find something to be thankful for.”- Terry Lynn Taylor
  • “Laughter isn’t even the other side of tears. It is tears turned inside out. Truly the suffering is great, here on earth. We blunder along, shredded by our mistakes, bludgeoned by our faults. Not having a clue where the dark path leads us. But on the whole, we stumble along bravely, don’t you think?” – Alice Walker
  • FAITH:
    “Every morning when I was a girl
    my mother would wake me
    with song, the same lilting lyric
    every dawn,
    It’s going to be such a lovely day,
    good morning, good morning I say.
    It sounds too grand to call it ceremony,
    and she would have appeared
    an unlikely celebrant
    in her bathrobe and slippers,
    but she infused this daily ritual with prayer
    and to this day I wake
    certain that the world
    will have beauty in it
    and certain that I will find it—
    this the most beautiful gift
    any mother could give.” – POEM by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
  • “If I could summarize nonviolence in one word, it would be: patience.” – Khan Abdul Ghaffar Khan
  • “Study after study shows that self-criticism is consistently associated with less motivation and worse self-control.” – Kelly McGonigal
  • “There are opportunities even in the most difficult moments.” – Wangari Maathai
  • “Beauty seen makes the one who sees it more beautiful.” – Br. David Steindl Rast
  • “The human spirit must sometimes take wings or sails, and create something that is not just utilitarian or commonplace.” -Queen Elizabeth II
  • “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou
  • “You are your best thing.” – Toni Morrison
  • “If you wish to heal your sadness or anger, seek to heal the sadness or anger of others. They are looking to you for guidance, help, courage, strength, understanding, and for assurance. Most of all, they are looking to you for love.” – Ana Castillo

So that’s this month’s short list of Heart-Full Moments that has some meaning for me. I hope your month has been graced with wisdom and reflection and that you might take a moment of pause to connect with what inspires and nourishes your soul.

If you or someone you care about is struggling to find moments of full-heartedness, please contact me for a therapy appointment.

For more ideas on how to bring more calm and less worry into your life, click here for a free email course on Mindfulness.

Listening with Heart
Cindi Rivera, MFT
Marriage, Family Therapist
www.cindiriveratherapy.com
criveramft@gmail.com
(510) 482-4445

Heart-Full Moments – October 2017

A monthly feature of “Listening with Heart”, sharing wise words, meaningful things read or good things found, to help warm your heart.

Healing in difficult times, Compassion, hope and kindness

It has been a very challenging and difficult month with many national and international disasters occurring. Earthquakes, hurricanes, mass shootings, detrimental leadership, fires, and utter human loss and indignities have been suffered by many and ripple affected many more. Anyone with a heart who cares about humankind has felt the devastation that has been so widespread and touched many. Here I offer some gentle wisdoms and insights that I’ve come across in October, that have helped to soothe the heart-felt wounds, and that offer hope and healing.

  • “By definition, not everyone can accomplish extraordinary things. The rainforest needs saving, poverty needs ending, and diseases need curing, but why not start with what you can influence right now—the world’s little daily hurts that, through the cycle of pain, create big problems? But this is our bias, made dramatically worse in recent years by social media: to overlook or even look down upon the ordinary. And yet, it is the ordinary, everyday flow of life that is so difficult to navigate in a way that does no harm to ourselves or others. Indeed, daily life presents our most obvious opportunity to change the world around us—to end the cycle of pain.”-Joshua Kauffman, Tiny Buddha blog – Simple Wisdom for Complex Lives
  • On Serenity: “Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.” -Thomas Szasz
  • On Aging: “The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected” – Robert Frost
  • Someone who really cares about and gives back to his community – Marshawn Lynch
  • Brother Steindl Rast – A grateful day video – lovely! 5 minutes
  • “Come, friends.
    Come with your grief.
    Come with your loss.
    Carry all the pieces of your heart
    and come sit with us.
    Bring your disappointments
    and your failures.
    Bring your betrayals
    and your masks.
    We welcome you no matter
    where you come from
    and what you bring.
    Come and join us
    at the intersection of
    acceptance and forgiveness
    where you will find our
    house of love.
    Bring your empty cups
    and we will have a feast.”
    -Kamand Kojouri
  • “When Mexico City was rocked by a powerful earthquake, people ran out into the street as the buildings they were in collapsed. Devastation was everywhere, but so was kindness amid the disaster.” – Emily Green, NPR
  • “When I encounter pain, particularly as it relates to anxiety, grief, and family conflict, I try to remember to ask myself, “What is there to learn here?” By asking this question, I take myself out of the role of victim and into the role of an empowered learner…. What if anxiety is not something wrong with you but just part of the path?” – Melissa Renzi
  • “Why should I be hated for something I cannot help be?” -Theo EJ Wilson – TED talk – in the way he (a black man) identified with white supremacists.
  • “Keep inviolate an area of light and peace within you.” – Corazon Aquino
  • “Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart.”
    -Maya Angelou
  • “ Mr. President, the way to honor the White House is through compassion and dignity, and being above the fray, not causing the fray.” ⁃ Steve Kerr
  • “It wasn’t as she had planned. It was perfect instead” – Byron Katie
  • “Often my life has become richer from the things I didn’t plan or want.” Lauren Selfridge – who also has a podcast titled “This is not what I ordered” – see ThisisnotwhatIordered.com – for people living with chronic illness
  • “In the quiet moments when the hurt is hard to bear, may love become your shelter and may the beauty of precious memories be your comfort.”
  • “When I was a boy and I would see scary things on the news, my mother would say: ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother‘s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.“ – Fred Rogers
  • “The experience of having power makes us less accurate in reading suffering on the faces of strangers and emotions in static photos of facial expressions. Powerful people are less able to take the perspective of others; they’re quicker to confuse friendliness with flirtatiousness. This is the empathy deficit of people in power, one found in many kinds of studies.” – Jeremy Adam Smith & Dacher Keltner in article: ”The Psychology of Taking a Knee”
  • “What do you do with the mad that you feel
    When you feel so mad you could bite?
    When the whole wide world seems oh, so wrong…
    And nothing you do seems very right?What do you do? Do you punch a bag?
    Do you pound some clay or some dough?
    Do you round up friends for a game of tag?
    Or see how fast you go?It’s great to be able to stop
    When you’ve planned a thing that’s wrong,
    And be able to do something else instead
    And think this song:

    I can stop when I want to
    Can stop when I wish.
    I can stop, stop, stop any time.
    And what a good feeling to feel like this
    And know that the feeling is really mine.
    Know that there’s something deep inside
    That helps us become what we can.
    For a girl can be someday a woman
    And a boy can be someday a man.” – Fred Rogers

  • “Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” ~Benjamin Disraeli
  • “Grief and gratitude are kindred souls, each pointing to the beauty of what is transient and given to us by grace.- Patricia Campbell Carlson
  • “People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.” – Elizabeth Kubler Ross
  • “The curious paradox is that just as soon as I start to accept myself as I am, that’s when things begin to change.” – Carl Rogers
  • “A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.” – Albert Einstein
  • Cal Fire – prepare to evacuate before fire hits
  • “There will be something, anguish or elation, that is peculiar to this day alone. I rise from sleep and say: Hail to the morning! Come down to me, my beautiful unknown.” – Jessica Powers
  • “And yes, the world does mercifully go on. As I write this evening, it goes on past local catastrophes like the unimaginably destructive fires raging just east and north of us. Plus the devastating hurricanes lined up one after another this year. It goes on past political leaders, so uncaring and seemingly untethered to reality. It goes on past global tensions that threaten millions. And it goes on past loved ones like my younger sister who is gravely ill. Yes, it simply goes on. This is not gratefulness for the hurt, grief and losses we suffer, but rather for the opportunity to grow heal and reconnect to our selves, to others, and to the great other.   But how do we hold all these things at once? How do we keep from simply turning away, numb and desperate? There is a tool and practice strong enough for such times. It is gratefulness practice. And no, we cannot be grateful for any of the things I just mentioned. Let me be clear. We simply cannot be grateful for such difficult and fierce things in this world.  Over time, however we can begin to tease up to something I call paradoxical gratefulness. This is not gratefulness for the hurt, grief and losses we suffer, but rather for the opportunity to grow, heal and reconnect to our selves, to others, and to the great other. It allows our heart to open more fully even as it shatters and breaks into ten thousand pieces.” -Dale Biron
  • “Courage isn’t about making the fear go away; it’s about acting in the face of fear.” As Susan Jeffers put it, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”
  • “Your heart has loved you since the beginning.”– Nayyirah Waheed
  • Lin-Manuel Miranda has raised over $20 million to benefit recovery efforts in Puerto Rico since Hurricane Maria devastated the island, with his song ‘Almost like Praying’. See his story and donate here.

If you or someone you love needs help dealing with stress, anxiety, loss, depression, please contact me for a therapy appointment.

For more ideas on how to bring more calm and less worry into your life, click here for a free email course on Mindfulness.

Listening with Heart
Cindi Rivera, MFT
Marriage, Family Therapist
www.cindiriveratherapy.com
criveramft@gmail.com
(510) 482-4445