You know something is wrong in your relationship and you've known you have to do something soon because you can't continue to live this way. Maybe you've been arguing a lot and can’t seem to see eye to eye on anything anymore; or even though you are married, you feel terribly lonely and disconnected from your partner. You might have major differences of opinion on issues most important to you – the kids, money, work, your sex lives, family.
My clients come for couples therapy or marriage counseling when they are having trouble communicating; might be planning to get married; are going through a separation or divorce; or want to feel closer to each other; or might have found out about an affair. Sometimes couples come because one or the other has troubling addictive behaviors or patterns that they can’t seem to resolve, and that are causing unhappiness for the relationship; or to make a decision about whether or not to stay together.
The reality is that potentially our couple relationships can provide us the deepest sense of happiness and connectedness in the world; but they can also cause our greatest heartache and suffering when they're not going well. Relationships can hurt and they can also be repaired. I believe that with some thoughtful attention and deep listening, I can help you and your partner to experience more of the joys of your relationship. You don’t have to be alone in your relationship struggle.
In couples therapy, I will meet with you weekly or biweekly, and address your current patterns of communication, making connections to past important relationships (especially from childhood) to identify areas where you might be able to make shifts in how you relate to each other. We will focus on improving communication and your couple's development through effective expression of one’s self (in a way that invites being listened to), and equally important, effective listening to your partner (in a way that invites sharing). I will help you to learn skills that will improve the good feeling of your relationship; make you feel more empowered to create the change you would like, be better able to handle potential disagreements, and better able to manage your own feelings when your partner is having his or her own struggles. You will learn ways to respond, rather than react, to each other and feel more satisfaction in your marriage or relationship.